my last day of high school was last Friday and this weekend there were a lot of parties, of course. I’ve had a harmless little crush on this guy in my calculus class for the entire year, and he’s such a good person I thought he ought to know. so I confessed so in one of those ceremonial end-of-year message signings. I ended up at a party last night where he was and I got the most intoxicated I have ever been as means of repressing my social retardation… meanwhile I’m texting my cool college friend and lying to my mom and I accidentally send the most quintessentially idiotic text to my mother on accident: “I’m at least 3x more drunk than any person here in 2nd place.” she said I either tell her where I am or I can be grounded for the summer so I went with the former; she wasn’t mad and picked me up. I became a lovely little paradigm: the girl who studied the most got the most drunk at year-end party. anyways, that’s my social and romantic status in a brief anecdote. the guy did talk to me, but even all that alcohol wasn’t enough to give me any control.